Fic: Kirk's Party, Let's Get It Started In Here! [6/?]

It didn’t take long for Spock to reach the bridge.

 

As he stepped out of the turbolift, he froze.  “Captain?” he asked and found his way over to Kirk.  “Could you please explain this tactical situation to me?  I was under the impression that you could handle situations like these.  I am uncertain as to why you called me here,” Spock finished, his eyebrows raised dangerously high.

 

“You caught me, Spock.  I’m throwing a crazy and wild party,” Kirk replied, unable to wipe the smirk off of his face.  “Are you going to report me?”

 

“Starfleet regulations would compel me to.  However, it seems illogical to write up the entire crew.  Not to mention, my time could be better served elsewhere,” Spock concluded.

 

Kirk smiled at his first officer.  “Thanks, Spock.”

 

“Captain...”

 

“Jim.  We’re off-duty.”

 

“Jim.  You have yet to answer my question.”

 

“About why I called you up?”

 

Spock nodded.

 

“I wanted the entire crew here to toast Chekov on his birthday,” he fibbed.

 

Spock caught the lie.  “Perhaps you would like to try again?”

 

Kirk laughed and picked up two shots of vodka as a tray hovered past.  “I promised your older self that I would find a way to get you here.”  Kirk handed one of the glasses to Spock who just eyed it.  “Sources say that deep down, you like to party hard.”

 

Spock stared intently at the alcohol in his shot glass, swirling the contents around.  “I would hardly classify myself as that.  I do, however, enjoy conversing with members of the crew in non-official settings.  Though with such a captain as you, I suppose this will have to do.”

 

Laughing even harder, Kirk grinned at his first officer.  “I think you just insulted me, Mr. Spock!”

 

“I would never show any disrespect to my superior officer,” Spock replied calmly.  But Kirk noticed the briefest of smirks pass over Spock’s lips.

 

“Do you want to hang out tonight, Spock?”

 

“Please define the parameters of ‘hang out’.”

 

“You know.  We talk, play bags together, take turns pissing off Bones, support each other when we’re too drunk to stand.”

 

Spock raised an eyebrow. Again.  “Are you planning on becoming inebriated to the pint where your motor capabilities will suffer?”

 

“No,” Kirk protested.  “But the night is young.  Come on, let’s toast the kid.”

 

Spock did not know what to make of the wink that his captain directed at him.

 

--

 

Chekov looked on in amazement as Sulu tossed a Tribble directly into the hole of the opposite board.  “I am wery sorry zat I ever doubted your skills, Hikaru.  Do not tell anyone, but you might just be better zan me.”

 

Even though the rules of bags stated that your teammate stand at the opposite board, Chekov had insisted in following Sulu when it was the helmsman’s turn to throw.  It was pretty damn cute, actually.  And hey, nobody was going to challenge the birthday boy.

 

Sulu chuckled as he tossed another Tribble down the hole.  “Don’t worry, Chekov, I am nothing but the epitome of discretion.”

 

Chekov paused, wondering if he had heard a second layer of meaning in Sulu’s voice, or if he had just wished it there.  “And I suppose zat vhat you aim for, you alvays get?”

 

“I haven’t been denied yet.”

 

Chekov glanced to the floor and then back up at Sulu.  “Your arms for zee throwing…zey seem wery strong.”

 

“It comes from knowing how to use a sword,” Sulu replied.

 

The navigator immediately found himself lacking in taking in oxygen.  He was 64% sure that Sulu was speaking in innuendos.  He looked at the ground, at Sulu, at the ground, at Kirk who was chatting up Spock, at the ground, and then at the other board.  “Oh look!  Eet ees my turn to toss zee Tribbles,” he blurted out and ran to the other board.

 

--

 

Kirk climbed back onto his chair.  “Hey everyone – I need your attention just one more time.”  The crowd gradually quieted, though they were getting kind of pissy at the constant interruptions.

 

Spock took a spot right next to Jim.

 

“Everyone, get a shot of vodka,” Kirk started, holding up his own shot glass and waiting for the crew to all find shots.  “As captain, I feel that it’s only right that I give the toast.  We are gathered tonight not only because I refuse to be out-partied by a teenager, but also because of that teenager.  Many of you know Ensign Chekov.  He’s friendly, smart, more excitable than a puppy, and almost hilariously socially awkward.”  He paused and glanced at the rapidly-turning-red Chekov.  “But this is why we love the kid!  I mean, if it wasn’t for him, you would not have had either of these parties!  So everybody raise your shot glass to Pavel Andre… Chekov!  As you are no longer our dear Ensign Jailbait – live long and prosper!” Kirk finished and kicked back his shot.

 

“Live long and prosper!” the crew repeated and kicked back their own shots.

 

As Kirk climbed down from his chair, he glanced over at Spock who was examining his empty shot glass.  “You feeling the booze yet?”

 

“That is highly unlikely.  Vulcans are immune to the effects of alcohol.”

 

“Oh really?” replied Jim, hiding his grin by downing some more vodka.

 

Spock nodded.  “Indeed.  However, I am curious as to the tingling/biting sensation.  Perhaps I should try another for an experiment.”

 

Kirk was already refilling Spock’s glass with vodka.  “I think that’s a brilliant idea.”  He grabbed the chocolate sauce and squeezed out a bit into the glass.  “Here, Spock,” he said, handing the drink to Spock.

 

Spock looked at the glass and then back at Jim.  “This is not the same substance as before.”

 

“You are correct.  This is better.  It’s, uh, a Dirty Russian.”

 

Spock frowned.  “Jim, it is clearly neither corporal nor unclean.”

 

Jim sighed.  Apparently the complexities of drink names escaped Spock as well.  “Just drink it.  It’s way better than regular vodka.”

 

Skepticism crossed Spock’s brow, but the Vulcan drank the contents anyway.

 

Kirk felt himself holding his breath as Spock did so.

 

After draining the glass, Spock looked at the glass and then up at Jim.  “You were correct, Jim.  That was far more agreeable than vodka.  I would enjoy another.”

 

“Absolutely, Spock,” Jim said and mixed him another drink.  But this time the glass had far more chocolate sauce than vodka in it.

 

Spock drained this drink without batting an eye.  “Jim,” Spock started, resting a hand on Jim’s arm, “I am going to go as far as to say that I like that drink.”

 

Jim almost broke out into a happy dance.  “Spock, I have to go ask Gaila a question.  I’ll be right back.”

 

“Could you mix me another…Dirty Russian?”

 

“Yeah, sure,” Kirk said with a grin.  He mixed the drink, handed it to Spock, and then headed over to Gaila at the turbolift.

 

“Hey Jimmy!” she cried as Kirk walked over.  “Did you change your mind and decide that seducing me was a better use of your time?”

 

Kirk chuckled.  “Not just yet.  How are things going over here?”

 

“So good!” she squealed and clapped her hands.  “By request of the medical staff, we tossed Dr. McCoy and Nurse Chapel in together!  Apparently, the sexual tension in the med bay was just unreal!”

 

“Seriously?  Bones and that hot blonde?  Good for him.”

 

Gaila pouted playfully at Kirk.  “Jimmy.”

 

“Awww, come on, Gaila.  You know that I prefer my women green,” he replied with a wink.

 

--

 

While Kirk was talking to Gaila, Spock, feeling less inhibited than usual, wandered over to Scotty and the karaoke machine by the view screen.  “Excuse me, Mr. Scott,” Spock asked, “but how does this machine work?”

 

“The karaoke machine, Mr. Spock?  Well, first ya choose which song ya want to sing.  Then the music comes on and ya sing the words on the screen.  It’s simple enough,” Scotty replied, handing the microphone to Spock.

 

“Fascinating,” Spock said as he started scrolling through the songs.  After landing on a song from the 21^st century Earth that he actually knew, he was dismayed at the fact that he needed a partner.

 

Turning to the crowd, he raised his voice in desperation.  “Fellow crew members!  I require assistance!  This song is a duet!  A partner is imperative!”

 

Luckily, Chekov chugged half a bottle of Verta and rushed over before any more damage could be done.  “I vill sing vith you, Mr. Spock!”  He glanced at the song.  “Ah mayo!  Good choice!”

 

“Thank you,” Spock said, nodding.  “I enjoy it myself.”

 

--

 

Gaila had almost talked Jim into a quick game of ‘Where’s the Tribble?’ when the karaoke music stated playing.

 

“Well, it’s about time!” Kirk cheered.  His face froze when he saw who was at the microphone.  “…Spock?”

 

Chekov started.

 

I wanna hold ‘em like zey do in Russia Plays
Fold ‘em let ‘em heet me raise eet baby stay vith me

 

And then Spock joined in.

 

Luck and intuition play the cards with Spades to start
And after he's been hooked I'll play the one that's on his heart

 

Sulu walked towards the singers as Chekov continued.

 

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got

 

Kirk blinked at the sight of Spock singing “Poker Face.”

 

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh,
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got

 

Kirk and Sulu exchanged glances (they seemed to be doing that a lot) as Chekov and Spock switched microphones and kept singing.

 

Can't read my,
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(He's got to love somebody)
Can't read my
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(He's got to love somebody)

 

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)

 

With both men clearly on their way to drunk, they started dancing along to the music.

 

Chekov glanced at Sulu as he sang the next line.

 

I vanna roll vith him a hard pair ve vill be

 

Spock raised an eyebrow at his next line.

 

A little gambling is fun when you're with me

 

Chekov let out a little giggle before this line.

 

Russian Roulette ees not zee same vithout a gun

 

Spock took the next.

And baby when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun

 

Spock accompanied the line with a pelvic thrust in the general direction of his captain.  Kirk’s jaw dropped open and only Gaila heard him whisper, “I think I’m in love.”

 

Chekov and Spock joined back together to end the song, accompanying the singing with downright intense, sexually-suggestive, hip-thrusting dancing.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh,
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got

 

Chekov and Spock traded off with the next group of lines

 

I von't tell you zat I love you

Kiss or hug you

Cause I'm bluffin' vith my muffin

I'm not lying I'm just stunnin' with my love-glue-gunning

Just like a chick in the casino

Take your bank before I pay you out

I promise zis, promise zis

Check this hand cause I'm marvelous!

 

As Spock and Chekov finished with the multiple choruses of the refrain, Kirk made his way to Sulu.  “I…I don’t know what to do with myself right now, Sulu.”

 

Sulu blankly shook his head.  “Me neither, Captain.”



Chapter Seven